you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize