Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
