I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
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She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Life without a bra equals bliss.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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