Kiss
Puke
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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