We're like a lot better than the average bears
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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