so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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