She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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