no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
