Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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