he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I think weed is turning my hair brown
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
