i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
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I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?