So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
