Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize