You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Holy sore nipples Batman
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
