Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
