About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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