I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
How's work?
Spinning.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
