Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Drake has all the answers
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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