Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
