last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
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the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
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Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for