i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
