Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
