who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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