I'm really into asian looking animals
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
