I want to stick my p in your. b.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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