I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
