No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
