Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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