Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
