This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize