when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
