Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
