Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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