I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
