Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
