You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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