im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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