that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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