Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
