Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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