the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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