Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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