All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
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The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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