he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
