Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
