I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
