The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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