are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize