everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
