I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
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It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
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Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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