her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
