you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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