I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
